


Kanbina (甘美な)

by estriel



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Rivalry, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 07:23:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19942393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estriel/pseuds/estriel
Summary: Kanbina (Japanese). A word that sounds pleasing to the ear.One word, two syllables. One name, one person becomes the centre of Yuzu's existence.





	Kanbina (甘美な)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MsDaring](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsDaring/gifts).



> Soundtrack for this story: [Dardust - Lost and Found](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yn3hj94TTtM)
> 
> Thank you, Bea, for the lovely prompt and inspiration! <3

“I’m Javier.” An extended hand, a smile. Yuzu of course knows who Javier is – he did come to train here because of him, after all. “Just call me Javi.”

_ Ja-vi. _

The nickname is easier to wrap his tongue around than Javi’s full name, unpronounceable with the R that rolls and trills, a fresh and foreign flavor.

_ Javi _ .

It doesn’t taste of cold bitterness, though, nor of the razor-sharp edge of rivalry that Yuzu has been mentally preparing himself for.

_ Javi _ .

Warm and sweet like the unexpected half-hug Javi pulls him into as they shake hands, clapping Yuzu on his back as he does so.

“Welcome to Cricket Club, Yuzu,” Javi says, and in his mouth, even the hard edges of Yuzu’s name turn as soft as Javi’s arm around his shoulder. 

And with them, something inside Yuzu softens, too.

*

_ Javi _ . A thousand shared laughs, and ten thousand unspoken curses as they help each other get off of the ice just before Brian calls  _ again! _ , or Tracy makes them stroke and stroke and stroke into mind-numbing oblivion. It is all a little more bearable – the pain of jumping, the frustration of  _ not _ jumping – with Javi’s string of muttered Spanish worming its way into Yuzu’s ear in every session they share.

_ Javi _ , the two syllables familiar now, like the warm arms around Yuzu’s waist, like the teasing, poking fingers as Javi tickles him on top of yet another podium, making him squirm.

_ Javiiii,  _ and Yuzu sounds ridiculous even to his own ear, high-pitched and excited when he opens his arms and lets Javi tumble down beside him, half on top of him as they clutch at each other after Javi’s skate.  _ Javi _ – breathless, happy, and hitching in his throat when Javi doesn’t let go, but instead rests his cheek against Yuzu’s chest, and a searing palm against Yuzu’s belly.

_ Javi _ , it is like letting cotton candy dissolve in your mouth. It is the sound of butterflies taking flight

*

_ Javi _ . A tear-filled sob that rips from Yuzu’s throat against his will, a sound of crushed golden dreams when Javi beats him for the first time in a competition that well and truly matters, when they crown Javi the champion instead of Yuzu.

_ Javi _ . It is the quiet, terrifying, dizzying sensation of pride that fills him to the brim along with the tears and disappointment. It is, shockingly enough, happiness. Because Javi has won, because Javi is happy, and that, by extension, means that Yuzu cannot help be a little happy, too.

*

_ Javi _ .

Cold and distant and maddening, grating against Yuzu’s consciousness like his botched landings, like the constant pain he bites back and doesn’t tell Brian about, like the useless trainwreck that is this season.

_ Ja.Vi. _

Two syllables that consume him: white-hot anger always licking at the edges of his sanity, along with a deep-seated fear. Fear that his frustrated wishes for Javi to just disappear from his career, his life, and his heart, might actually come true. Fear that one day he will wake up and it will be too late to salvage this friendship that has been his comfort and his life-saver for years now. 

_ Javi _ …

Delirious fire coursing through his veins as he clutches his  _ silver _ medal in one hand, and his erection in the other, with memories of Javi’s eyes, Javi’s laugh, Javi’s scent tingling just beneath his skin.

*

_ Javi _ . The sound of shattering, a tumbling into an abyss, a door slamming shut in front of his nose even as he hammers at it with all his might. Yuzu forgets everything for a few endless moments. His throbbing ankle, the cameras, the sea of hungry eyes trained on him – it all disappears. He forgets that he has just won the Olympics for the second time, when Javi whispers the words: 

“This is our last podium together, Yuzu. I’m done. I’m going to retire.”

_ Javi _ … Trembling hands and tears Yuzu can barely hold back as he clutches at Javi’s shoulder, Javi’s hand, Javi’s… everything.

_ Javi _ , he doesn’t say, doesn’t dare utter Javi’s name for fear it will float out of his mouth and be gone, forever.

*

“Javi,” it comes out choked, desperate, and Yuzu would be embarrassed if he wasn’t past caring what anybody thinks of him. “Can we –“

“Walk with me?” Javi suggests, and holds out a hand, just like that, for Yuzu’s fingers to curl around in his thick  _ Team Japan _ mitten. They walk through the Olympic village, snowflakes dancing against the silky black sky all around them.

“Will you come in?” Javi’s breath is visible in the frost, and Yuzu wonders: if he opened his mouth and caught the whiff of air on his tongue like a snowflake, would it taste like Javi tastes, like everything Yuzu wants and has never had?

They drop their thick jackets, scarves, and gloves once they are inside the warm cocoon of Javi’s room, shedding layer upon layer. Maybe he could do the same with the complicated tangle of emotions he’s been carrying inside his chest for years now, Yuzu thinks. Unpeel his defenses one by one until he’s standing bare in front of Javi, and finally tell him how he feels, how he’s felt for… years, really. Like Javi is all the gold Yuzu could ever wish to win.

“Javi,” his voice quivers like a plucked string when he lets it out, and then Javi is looking at him, and Yuzu can’t – he can’t say it. Because what if he is wrong, what will happen then? He cannot risk it.

“You were always your only rival, you know,” Javi is saying, turning to him so they are face to face, so close that Yuzu can see the tiny flecks of amber in Javi’s hazel eyes.

“ _ Javi, _ ” barely a breath, a puff of air ghosting over his parted lips.

“Yuzu.” Firm, like Javi’s arm around his waist, Javi’s palm against his cheek, thumb stroking along his jaw. Firm and sure and  _ right _ , as Javi pulls him impossibly closer, and makes Yuzu forget his Olympic gold for the second time today. 

*

_ Javi. _

Light and fluttering, like the whisper of lips against his skin – down his neck, across his collarbone, mapping a winding path over his chest and stomach.

_ Javi _ .

Lush and succulent, the shape and sound of a moan, catching him by surprise like the gentle drag of teeth across his left nipple.

_ Javi _ .

Half-swallowed, morphing into a filthy groan as Javi wraps his mouth around him, and  _ hums _ .

_ Javi _ .

The essence of Yuzu’s feverish dreams and fantasies, flesh against flesh, a relentless game of push and pull, rock and grind.

_ Javi _ !

A soaring, blinding ecstasy cascading from his lips  _ – Javi, oh Javi, finally, Javi! –  _ until Yuzu doesn’t remember his own name.

_ Javi _ . The synonym for now. And always. And forever.


End file.
